Adoption: The Loving Solution to “Unwanted” Children
The following are stories of children whose birth-parents were not ready to parent them, yet all of these children are currently living in loving Christian homes. Let us as adoptive parents share our stories with you…
I was looking at my daughter’s profile today as she was lost in thought. “Beautiful!” I thought. I remember the day she was brought to us. 8 days old, straight from the hospital where she had lain since birth without a mother’s kiss or touch or voice – just random nurses to care for her. We were told her name, her weight, her birthdate. “Did we want her?” they asked. A girl! I had always wanted a girl! But really? A brand new baby girl with no one to love her? Did we want her? YES I wanted her! So the next day she was dropped off at our house by two social workers who had picked her up from the hospital not far from our home. She was wrapped in a pink blanket sewn by charitable elderly ladies for babies such as her. I remember the first time I looked at her. Her chubby cheeks. The ringlets of dark curly African American hair. BEAUTIFUL! They left her. I laid her on the couch in her blanket and let her sleep. I went about my day, caring for our 20-month-old son. I knew she would cry when she was hungry. He looked at her briefly on his way up to nap for the afternoon. He could not have known then how close he would become to this sister of his. Then I held her. It is those moments that now, almost five-and-a-half years later, I wish I could have bottled. How do you remember the way you want to how soft, sweet and wonderful a newborn baby is? How do you soak it in enough? It went by so fast – more like the blur of a fast train. I would tell her over and over again as I fed her and loved on her and kissed her profusely in that first year how much of a miracle she was. My heart was knit to that girl as if I had born her…maybe more because my body was not healing from birth. But a mother’s heart is the same whether you’ve born out of your physical body or chosen to extend your heart through adoption. A heart gives birth, without doubt. Swells and bursts. Profuse love! Love only given by God. The direction of her life hung in the balance until she was 1. Foster care is such a difficult suffering at times. Raw caring with no promise of the return. But isn’t that true Christ-likeness. Isn’t that what we are called to? Isn’t that the ultimate sacrifice of parenting? Do we only parent because of the hoped-for return? The hoped-for outcome? Ah…but the return is in heaven, is it not? These words often ring through my head, “It will be worth it all when I see my Jesus!” But how selfish we often are. We had so many years to determine the reason why we wanted children…so thankful for those years to let the Lord work out some of the motives behind the asking for the gifts. The week after her first birthday, we adopted her. That was truly a gift. A daughter to call your own for a few years…but never truly our own, but always with open hands lifted up to the Lord always. She was placed in our open hands and with open hands we leave her before the Lord. But the commands and promises to ‘parents’ now belong to us. And how blessed we are. And our great God had planned it all. She is asking questions now…her thinking beyond her years. “Was I in your tummy?” “I want you and daddy to have a black baby in your tummy.” We have the awesome privilege to help her see that God is writing everyone’s story in a special way and that each of the five of us in our family have a different and special story that is woven together in a family. We have the privilege to pray for the woman who gave birth to her and chose life over abortion in the midst of such difficult and hopeless life circumstances. We call her by her first name and speak kindly of her. Our daughter asks questions and talks of her…it is an open subject always. Such a beautiful woman created in the image of her Creator. We are eternally grateful for her and the way the Lord used her to bring our daughter into the world and to us. And those who are touched by our daughter’s life, even at five years old, would say they could not imagine life without her smile and laugh and ornery and playful sense of humor. If her life had been snuffed out before it had ever been given a chance to breathe air or feel the warm touch of a mother and kind voice of love…. If there is one statement that has been said multiple times in our home, it is this, “There is no baby that has ever been born that was not created, designed and wanted to be born by the Lord.” Every life has a plan and was planned by our great God. He opens and closes the womb. He has closed our physical womb only to open our hearts wide to ‘birth’ children through adoption. We feel twice blessed and give all praise and thanks to Him.
From Levi and Sophia’s Parents:
When the average person on the street says “God loves His children” I totally agree with them. God does love children. He hears their cries because He made them and knows every part of them. He knits each little hand, little dimple, heads, shoulders, knees, and toes by His awesome power.
That God loves children means that we love children. We love children so much that we adopted two children from Ethiopia.
His story is simple, tragic, and filled with bravery. It is simple because it is similar to many children who are born in Ethiopia. The country is filled with poverty so it is hard to feed little mouths. It is tragic because Levi’s father died when his 16 year old mother was pregnant and it left her with tough decisions to make. It is filled with bravery because she made a tough choice to keep her baby and give him the opportunity to live and grow up. It is tragic again because she knew she could not raise this baby. Levi was born in a town called Kamashi, where .02% of the population have running water or electricity. The town is extremely poor. She made a brave decision to have this baby, my son, and take him to an orphanage for adoption. On December 18th, 2010, after days of traveling we had Levi in our home sleeping in his little crib that we prepared for him.
Sophia’s story is similar. Her biological mother was 16, very poor, and Sophia’s biological father went missing some time during the pregnancy. She also made a brave decision to keep her baby and get her baby, our daughter to an orphanage for adoption. She found out about this option through her friend, Levi’s mother. Levi and Sophia are 7 months apart. God placed them in the same orphanage 7 months from each other and placed them in the same home in Louisville, KY on the same day.
We love them so much and couldn’t imagine them “not” being in lives. They fit so perfectly. If we could ever meet their birth mothers we would hug them and express our thankfulness for their bravery. We would also let them know that we will strive to give them the best life possible, raising them in the fear and admonition of the Lord.
A Personal Note to Mothers in Crisis:
I can’t imagine the choice you are having to make. I know it has to be tough to know you have a life inside of you and that has to make you scared. I want you to know this: we are praying for you. We may never meet you, but we are praying for you just like we prayed for our children before we ever met them. I hope our story inspired you to be brave. Your child has dreams and God has a plan for their life. Please consider having your baby. If you feel you are unable to raise them, I promise you, there are people who would love the opportunity to help them live out God’s plan for their lives.
We love children and both desire a large family. Soon after we started trying to become pregnant, we felt convinced that the Lord had delayed or prevented pregnancy because He had already chosen children for us love and raise and point to Jesus, ones who desperately needed a home through adoption.
Shortly after our son Isaiah was born, he was abandoned in a high school. He was found sobbing and with the umbilical cord still attached by a man named Teshome. We will forever be thankful for his kindness in saving our son’s life! He took Isaiah to the police, and from there he was sent to an orphanage. We are often brought to tears thinking about how close Isaiah came to death. He is such a happy, curious, strong boy and brings us so much joy and delight. We praise the Lord for protecting his life and allowing us to be his parents!
We know more about our daughter Eliana’s birth family. Eliana’s mother Bezawit was very young and was the oldest of six children. Bezawit’s mother died, and not long after that Bezawit became pregnant. She had to leave school, though she had been a good student. Her family rejected her when they found out about her pregnancy, which left Bezawit as a young single mom with no money, home or food for herself or her child. She made a brave, hard choice to give her baby up for adoption rather than abandon her. The name Bezawit means “one who gives herself for others’ survival.” When I think of this precious young woman’s strength and kindness, we are thankful that she chose to live up to her name for the sake of her daughter and ours.
We love being parents, and we especially love it that the Lord allowed us to adopt our children. He has blessed us beyond what we could have asked for or dreamed of. He has filled our home with joy and laughter. We are overcome with thankfulness, and excited to raise our precious children to love and serve Him, the great God of all life.
We have not had the opportunity to meet our son’s birth family due to their desire for privacy, but we have been able to learn a little about them. They are a married couple who found themselves in difficult circumstances in which they were unable to parent. We know that other options were seriously considered, but thanks be to God who is the author and preserver of life, our son was born this past spring. We were able to meet him at two days old in a large hospital. The words that came to mind when we first saw him were from Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Our son was fearfully and wonderfully made, and appointed to be our child from the very foundations of the world. His complex little body was knit together and every detail of it attended to and designed by God. He was not a mistake or an accident. In God’s eyes, he was not even unplanned. His life was sustained and preserved even through difficult circumstances.
We sometimes hear people say that there is no difference between abortion and adoption. There is a vast difference. If his birthmother had chosen abortion he would be dead. She chose adoption, and he is alive. She gave him the great gift of life. Every day our hearts swell with gratitude for her decision. If we ever have the privilege to meet her we will thank her with all our hearts for carrying this child and giving him the chance to live and grow up and for entrusting his life to us.
As parents, we are incredibly grateful. It makes no difference to us if we gave birth to our son or adopted him. We love him with all our hearts and will spend our time and energy loving him, teaching him, and sharing the good news of the Gospel as we grow together.
Adoption is not an easy choice, but it is a choice of love.
Kaden and Makyra’s Stories
Kaden was abandoned on the side of the road just one day after he was born. A man named Erjabo found him and took him to an orphanage run by Christians. Kaden was very sick and, in the opinion of the orphanage workers, close to death. They took him to the hospital and the director of the orphanage told us that he could not sleep for four days out of concern for Kaden. He was released back to the orphanage and today is a very healthy little boy. God heard and responded to Kaden’s cry and sent Erjabo and the orphanage workers to save his life.
Makyra’s story is even more sobering. Her mother died giving birth to her and in the midst of mourning for her death, Kyra was neglected and went without any food for three days. The director said that she was forgotten by all, but not by our Lord. A government official put Kyra in a plastic bag and brought her to the orphanage. She was not breathing and had to be hospitalized for 11 days. The kindness of the Lord through the Christian orphanage workers saved her life. Thank you, God for hearing Makyra’s cry.
When we met our children for the first time, we found them with several nannies who had tears in their eyes. They loved the children so much and grieved to part with them. We felt nothing but the love of Christ in every hand that cared for our children while they were in the orphanages. Yes, these people are heroes; there is no doubt about it. But it would be incomplete to stop there: It is God motivating their love. It is God who has heard the cries of our children and has saved their lives. May the Lord save many more and may we as the church act as his hands and feet to save the lives of the afflicted…both inside and outside the womb.
Do you have an adoption story of your own that you would like to share? Please contact us for details on how your story can be posted.